Day 3: My First Love

I'm back for Day 3. It's 7:30 in the morning and I've been awake for somewhere around an hour. My little cuddle bug is sitting in her swing watching Pinky Dinky Doo and talking to Pinky. Today's word of the day on Pinky Dinky Doo, if you're interested, is "random". By the time Lily can really talk, she's going to have a wonderful vocabulary, because "random" is the smallest, shortest word I've heard them highlight on this show.

But, I digress. This blog is not titled "Day 3: What Lily watches on TV at 7:30 am".

This blog, much to my chagrin, is entitled "Day 3: First love..." This should be full of a lot of introspection.

I think everyone's first love is their mom and dad, and family. It has to be, because they're who the hospital entrusts with your well being. They cuddle you, feed you, change you, bathe you, let you spit up on them...that's love, right? I have a great family and I've NEVER felt un-loved. We may not have had tons of money, and I may not have been spoiled, but I was for sure loved. And still am. I'd show you a lovely picture of a four year old me, with my mom and dad, but it's too early for me to go digging for it. Maybe in another blog.

I know, you're all reading this thinking to yourself "Of course we know her parents love her and she loves them. But that's not what I want to read! I want to know about her first loooooove!"

I thought about what I would write here for a few days, even before I officially started the challenge, after reading a few others. Honestly and truly, at the end of the day, my first TRUE love...the kind that knocks your socks off, the kind that makes everything you ever thought might have possibly been love before fade into the darkness in comparison...the kind that makes you want to go to the end of the earth or even to the moon and back...was JP.

See, I've always labored under the idea that if I have to think about whether or not I'm in love with someone, then I'm not. I dated...and dated and dated...some I just went out with once or twice. Some were a few weeks, some were a few months, and some were even off and on for a few years. But I wasn't ever in LOVE with any of them, and I knew that. Pretty sure they did, too, which explains a lot of problems we had. Did some of those guys hurt me? Absolutely. Did it feel like my heart was broken? At the time, yes. But, recovery happens fast when your heart really isn't cracked into a million pieces and you suck it up and get over it. When I look back on certain situations, I realize 100% that it wasn't anything REAL.

But one thing I do have to say for all of those experiences...they all made me realize what I wanted in a spouse. I was able to figure out yes, I like this characteristic. No, I don't like this one. All of the tumultuous experiences I had were all for a reason..so I would know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, when God put the right person in my life.

I mentioned in one of the blogs yesterday...from the first time I saw JP, I knew I was going to marry him. I don't know how. I just did. (Kind of like how I knew Lily was a girl from the second the shock of a "PREGNANT" popped up on the test strip. I don't know how I knew that. I just did.) Of course, it was a few years before we even met, but the rest is history.

If you asked me to explain what love is, and how I know that is what I feel for him...I probably couldn't. I joke around and say things to him like "You just farted in bed and tried to pull the covers over my head, and all I did was laugh. That's love." or "I let you have an entire room of the house for your guns, Star Wars stuff, and cop stuff. That's GOT to be love, right?" He really is my perfect match, because even though he can annoy the crap out of me, at the end of the day, I can't imagine myself with anyone else. I can lay my head on his shoulder and all is right with
the world. Love isn't always sunshine, roses, and candle lit dinners. Love is 2:58 in the afternoon, hanging out on the couch finishing up Season 3 of your favorite TV show in your pajamas. Love is everything that makes the daily grind worth it.

Another, different type of "first" love happened at the hospital, April 9, 2010, at 3:30 in the afternoon. That was when Dr. Deppen handed me my few seconds old, blood and goo covered newborn daughter. I honestly thought my heart was going to explode in my chest at the amount of love I felt for her, and for JP, in that minute. She was (and still is) the most perfect thing I've ever seen in my life. The love that I felt then (and still feel, now) is so overpowering and overwhelming sometimes that it's hard to imagine that I even deserve it. When Lily came, the love that I had for JP expanded and changed ten fold. Looking down at Lily, knowing that we created her with love (whether we realized we were creating her or not!), and knowing that there is a little person that is a perfect mix of the two of us running around the world now, just deepened and intensified everything. Grown-up love became GROWN UP love.

And yet another, totally different kind of true love is the love between best friends. I have one best friend that has been in my life since I was 12. She knows who she is (and most of you do, too). A best friend that you can talk for hours to about nothing...someone who will listen to you complain and cry and whine about things that were, for all intents and purposes, your own fault and never once judge you for them...someone who is there for you unconditionally because they WANT to be...and you are all those things for them. That is love. When my best friend and I went our separate ways for a few years, largely due to my own selfish, stupid choices, I was literally heartbroken. I cried harder, and mourned the loss of that friendship more than I'd ever mourned the loss of any one other than my grandfather (Poppy). Once I grew up, thankfully, we were able to repair the pieces...that's also love.

So, I had to stop writing this blog in order to get us to Me-Maw's on time, and, after probably one of the worst days I've had in a LONG time, I'm back to writing about love. It's now 8:54 pm. More than 12 hours have passed and I'm still trying to figure out what to write about my first love.

What, or who could I say was my first love? The thing about love (and hate) is that we use it so...freely. "I LOVE this song" or "I love breakfast in bed" or "I love Gwen Stefani's new outfit". But that's far from actual love. It's more like, well, like...a whole, whole lot. That brings me back to the beginning, where I talked about the people I dated before JP. All of them...every single one...fell into the "like" category. Some of them I liked a whole, whole lot. But I never truly LOVED until him.

Ok so I did Day 1 and Day 2 backwards...so here you go, both in the same day now.

So I got a little ahead of myself. I told you what my blog name meant before I told you who *I* was. I guess I figure you all know me, so what is there to tell? But, here's a recap:

My name is Amy. I was born June 9, 1983 at some little hospital in Dundalk, MD (the hospital closed a little while after I was born after a bunch of newborns died of dysintery). My mom and dad didn't stay married long and when I was 3, my mom married my step dad. He legally adopted me and he is, as far as I'm concerned, my ONLY dad. I'm an only child. I met JP a LONG time ago...7 years this Sept...and we made it all legal on June 2, 2007. JP is everything I could have ever asked for in a spouse, and more. God really knew what he was doing when we randomly met at a friend's house. (An aside to this story: I used to work at Captain D's when I was in college, and JP used to come in to eat. I thought he was the greatest thing since sliced bread, and proclaimed loudly to anyone who would listen that I was going to marry him. However, I was completely terrified to actually TALK to him. So much so that I ran and hid from him when he came in so I wouldn't even have to say hi. It took a shot of tequila and a dare from one of my best friends to speak to him when he showed up at a get together at her house. Best thing I've ever done, hands down.)

Lily Katherine, our first child, was born on April 9, 2010. Not only was she completely unplanned, but she came 4 weeks ahead of schedule...4 days after JP's birthday. I told him she must have wanted some left over birthday cake. Lily and JP are my whole world...and I'm not ashamed one bit to say that. Lily changed my whole world, and being her Mommy is the greatest thing I'll ever do.

Let's see...I have lived in TN since I was 10, so that'll be 18 years this summer. Since it's more than half my life, I'd like to think I'm no longer a yankee, but I understand this is still up for debate. I'm allergic to darn near everything...including chocolate (it doesn't stop me from eating it, however). I love to read, I can paint, I'm a Gemini...long walks on the beach, blah blah blah....

Still reading? I sure hope so.

Anyway, this is me:
(and JP, of course)

(and this is Lily and I...I know, she's so much cuter...)

I have a wonderful family, fantastic friends, and I've been blessed with awesome in-law family. Who could ask for more? I have a job that I can't really complain about with a great company. I wake up everyday and have long lists of things to be thankful for...I am truly blessed.

Now, according to the challenge, you get to read 15 Fun and Interesting (or boring and nonsequential) facts about me.

1. I love turtles. Not as much as this little boy, clearly, but I do love them.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMNry4PE93Y

2. I am an AVID couponer. I could seriously write a whole blog about just that. I get so excited when I save a bunch of money using coupons, that even the check out people at the stores are excited.

3. When I had my allergy test done, I joked with the allergist that I bet I'd be allergic to my three favorite things: chocolate, milk, and dogs. Guess what? I am. Oh well, that's what allergy shots are for, because I'm not giving up chocolate, milk, or my dogs, or any combination therein. Who's laughing now, allergies?!

4. I'm not athletic, but after having a baby and having all the fast food I ate in college catch up to me (all at once, I think), I'm going to attempt to learn to run. You see, I run sort of like a blind penguin right now, so I have a long road. But, I'm shooting for Sherry's Run in the fall, and to lose approximately 209250890349 lbs. Well, maybe not that much.

5. I hate math, yet I am a teller at a bank, and I have worked at the bank longer than any other job in my adult life. You figure it out.

6. I blame #5 on the fact that I'm a Gemini and I have the whole duplicity thing going on. This is also why I love something one day and hate it the next (the weather, my hair, the color purple...whatever), and I live in a constant state of organized chaos. It's ok, though, because if you don't love me today, you probably will tomorrow.

7. I hate, loathe, and despise the following: cottage cheese, tomatoes, peaches, okra, grits, and peas. I try them all every few years to see if I may have grown to like them, or imagined that I don't...yea, I still hate them.

8. I may or may not be allergic to Penicillin. As far back as I can remember, my mother has told doctors that I'm allergic to penicillin, and she knows this because I had a terrible reaction to it. So, whenever I get REALLY sick, doctors have the worst time in the world finding meds for me. But, the last time I got sick, my mom said "Why didn't they give you Penicillin? Why don't you ever get Penicillin?" and now claims that I'm NOT allergic to, nor have I ever had any kind of reaction to, penicillin. So now, I beg the question...Do I attempt to take penicillin at some point and risk some kind of awful, excruciating reaction or not?

9. I love Farmville on Facebook. I know. Lame. But for some reason, my little farm is my form of relaxation. JP has paintball, guns, Playstation, Xbox 360...Lily has Yo Gabba Gabba...I have Farmville. Shut it.

10. I have to have at least one glass of milk everyday. When I was pregnant, I drank about a gallon every 2 days. That's a lot of milk over the 36 weeks I was pregnant.

11. I love music. There is just something about immersing yourself in a good song and feeling the lyrics and music deep down in your soul. My love for music doesn't stop me, though, from having a few guilty pleasures (and I mean guilty): Lady GaGa, Britney Spears, and the Black Eyed Peas. I know. I know. I promise I really do love some good music. I think that's another blog, though, so I'll save it.

12. It's harder than I thought coming up with things about me. Does this mean I'm as boring as I think I am? At least I can't see you all shaking your heads yes.

13. I am a Dave Ramsey convert. JP and I did Financial Peace University and we're about to actually start doing the 12 wk program again. We should be debt free, except for our mortgage, by October.

14. I love dogs and babies. If I had an unlimited income, didn't hate cleaning up dog hair so much, and wasn't totally miserable when I am pregnant, I'd have many more dogs and babies.

15. I have never had a cavity. Yes, you just read this ENTIRE blog to find that out.

So I'm a follower...You wanna make something of it?!

I decided after reading a few of my wonderful friends' first 30 day blog challenge entries, that I really should try it myself. I was pretty regularly blogging, and planned to as a way to let everyone know about Lily, our family, and just the general goings-on of my (our) life (lives). Well, looking back at my last entry, I did really pathetic. FOUR total...the last update was when Lily was just under 2 months old. Wow. What a blogger I am!!

So anyway, I've decided to be a follower and try to accomplish this 30 day blog challenge. Maybe someone will read it...maybe no one will read it. I don't really mind either way, but I really would like to look back next year and see more than four updates.

I think what I'm supposed to do first is give you some kind of awesome, intriguing reason why I picked the name I did for my blog.

When I started this blog, last year, Lily was only a few weeks old. I wanted to do something, other than Facebook status updates, where I could ramble on incessantly about her, JP, myself, and whatever else popped into my brain. Given that I was a zombie for the first few months of Lily's life, because mine became nothing more than one long day with some naps, diaper changes, and feedings in between, my brain was mush. My thoughts were jumbled, and I figured nothing I wrote would make a bit of sense (reading over those entries, I'm actually surprised at how much sense they make). My excuse for rambling, jumbled entries was going to be that I had "Mommy Brain", hence, Inside the Mommy's Brain was born.

I'm noticing writing this, that my thoughts are still jumbled, and I'm still worried nothing will make sense...so maybe the title is more fitting than I thought, and maybe it's the later stages of baby-dom that really bring out the "Mommy Brain".

Well, here goes nothing, I guess!