Never bend over to wash your feet again...

Let me just start by saying, while I'm now fairly certain Insanity won't kill me, it's still more than just a minor accomplishment to simply psych myself up to start the video. So to say I've completed 3 days of it now is a major accomplishment, particularly since I'm hardly the target audience. I did have to stop about 3 minutes before the cool down yesterday, but not because I thought I couldn't finish. It was because my child, apparently, is on the anti-exercise, "Let's-keep-mommy-fat-and-fluffy" bandwagon (she's a lone participant, I think) because she had a total and absolute meltdown last night in her playpen as soon as I started the warm-up. For those of you who know my child, she is really generally such a happy go lucky girl and can entertain herself for hours in her playpen with her toys...when she wants to. So I think that a "total and absolute meltdown" deserves a little further explanation, so you all know I'm not exaggerating.

Total and absolute meltdown- Lily's version: (v): Includes but is not limited to, crying, screaming so loud that the tv is drowned out, throwing herself backwards into the playpen, more screaming, jumping up and down and shaking her fists, and last but not least, sticking her fingers in her mouth until she gags herself or throws up. This stops the second she is picked up, and is a sign of being completely spoiled rotten.

So, after I begrudgingly shut off the workout and picked her up, she smiled, patted my cheek and said "Heya mama! Happy!" See? Spoiled.

After I cooled down, drank water, and made sure my heart wasn't going to stop or explode (JP's warning today before I started the work out was "Keep your phone near you, just in case something happens and you need to call someone for help." I know, it made me super excited to work out, too.) I went on to bed, where I'm happy to say Lily slept ALL night!

Thanks to Rebecca Black's auto tuned awesomeness, I can tell you that today is Thursday. Tomorrow is Friday, and there are some other days that come after that but I don't really care (for the next week, anyway) because as of Friday at 7:01pm, I am on VACATION! Now, don't get too excited. I'm not really going anywhere. I'm just not going to be at work. I'm going to spend the week enjoying my baby and husband, because it's the last week my baby will BE a baby. I keep getting letters in the mail from Gerber, Similac, and Enfamil reminding me of this terribly sad fact. "I am not a baby" they say, "I am now a TODDLER." I am not ready for a toddler but I don't suppose I get much choice in the matter. It's hard to believe this time last year, I was 35 weeks pregnant with a ninja nicknamed Oops, fully expecting to have 5 weeks of pregnancy left. Little did I know my baby girl would get jealous of her Daddy having all the birthday cake and Easter candy and come 4 weeks ahead of schedule.

That brings me to another milestone I get to celebrate during my week off. My husband turns old..um...I mean...30...on April 5. He was 23 when I met him, and I was 21. It's crazy how time flies, but I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with on this crazy ride.

This weekend, I'm going to finish putting out my garden. I've had pretty good success with the seed starters, and I have several good sized plants to put out. Hopefully, once they get out in the "real" world, and not on my kitchen chair in the window, they won't shrivel up and die. The day I get an actual, edible vegetable will be a great day in my house, let me tell you, because I am hardly the "green thumb" type.

While I'm on vacation, I have a list of non-vacation-y stuff to do, like go to the eye doctor, paint the hallway and laundry room, and go through my, Lily's and JP's clothes and get stuff together for a yard sale (or Goodwill, depending on my patience level at the end of this venture), plus JP's birthday party and actual birthday, and Lily's birthday. I'm interested to see how much of what I have planned to get done actually gets done, because JP is taking some vacation days, too.

Random item of the day

Since I am inside of a Wal-Mart most days, I usually try to take a brisk walk around the store on my lunch break to get a little blood flowing and to break the monotony of staring out at the registers. In my travels through the store, I see a lot of interesting things (and I'm not just talking about the people shopping). Today, I saw an "As Seen On TV" item that is quite possibly the laziest invention known to man, if not by product itself, by tag line. It's a foot scrubber thing. I didn't catch the name, but from what I gathered it affixes to the bottom of your tub and you can slide your feet in it during a shower and it cleans them for you. It looks like a shoe with a scrub brush inside of it, kind of. The best part of this novel invention is it's tag line "Never bend over to wash your feet again!" Now you tell me, how lazy have we become that we want an apparatus that will keep us from having to perform the arduous task of bending over to wash our own feet? Really? The first image that popped into my mind when I pondered this was from the movie Wall-E, where all humans were pretty much fat, lazy, and perfectly content to know nothing and do nothing for themselves. Once I saw that, I texted two people to tell them about it. One was a woman, my friend Jennifer. The other? A man, my husband. Jennifer texted back and said "How lazy! JP, on the other hand, texted me back, "How much is it? I want one! So does Brandon and Joe!" That's the difference between men and women, right there.

Of all the things I've lost, I wish more of it had been weight!

Hello lovely readers! It's day 30 of the blog challenge, and I'm on day 24 or 25 topic wise. It's also day 3 of Insanity. That means I not only surived Day 2 (which was the official first day of the workout), but I'm planning to continue.

Let me just tell you, this workout is the most aptly named workout I've ever seen. The workout is insane, and you have to BE insane to do it. I was ready to pass out halfway into the warm up yesterday, so none of you should be surprised to know that I threw up 26 minutes and 43 seconds into the 45 minute workout. But you will be surprised to know that I drank some water, let the room quit spinning, and got back to it and finished the workout. I have done more cardio in the last 2 days than I've done in the last 2 years (at least) and I have jumped more in the last 2 days than I have in probably my entire adult life (and my legs are killing me as a continuous reminder of how fat and/or out of shape I have become). I told JP if I don't lose weight doing this program then something is terribly wrong...between the jumping, running, and throwing up, the weight's gotta go somewhere!

As a reward for sticking with this and a motivator to continue with it, I got to get a new pair of cross trainers. I have a pair of Nikes that I've worn for a long time, and my feet just kill me when I am doing all the jumping. I think the arches flattened out in them just due to all of the wear. It makes me a little sad, because I didn't wear them out with exercise, I just wore them out wearing them around for the last few years.

Today's challenge topic is "Something I Miss" and while I could write about a lot of things or people, I'm going to stay right along with what I've been talking about.

I miss feeling good about how I look.

I miss the days when I could eat whatever I wanted (Hardees for breakfast? Ok! Los Compadres cheese nachos for lunch? Sure! Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner? Count me in! Waffle House double order of hashbrowns scattered, covered, and chunked at midnight? Heck yea!). I miss the days where I could pull on a pair of size 5 jeans (now, I'm lucky if my LEG is a size 5). I miss looking in the mirror and feeling good about how I look, because now I don't even want to look in the mirror because I just hate what I see. I don't like getting my pictures taken, not even with Lily, because of my fat face, double chin, and belly. I miss enjoying the pool (I don't, now, because I'm too busy trying to keep my thunder thighs and bat wing flabby arms under wraps.) I hate these feelings.

So, I'm doing something about it.

I currently weigh 195lbs. That is 55lbs over what "ideal" weight is for my height, and embarrassingly enough, close to 15bs over what I weighed the day before I went to the hospital to have Lily. I lost a lot of the baby weight really quickly after having her, but as you now know, I managed to gain it all back and then some. This is due, in part, to bad eating habits for the first few months after Lily was born, while I was on maternity leave, but is due, more so, to complete lack of physical activity. I have been to the gym a grand total of 3 times since Lily has been alive. that's 3 times out of 356 days. That's ridiculous.

Before I got pregnant, I was really losing weight. I was at the gym 5 to 7 days a week, had a program from a personal trainer, was watching what I ate...the whole 9 yards. I was down to 160lbs, and though I wasn't totally happy with that, I was feeling good. I had started at 185lbs, so I was proud of my weight loss. Then I got pregnant, and sick, sick, sick. It was about 6 months into the pregnancy before I actually gained any weight because of how sick I was. I'd gain, then lose, then gain, then lose. My pregnancy weight gain, total, was 20lbs. About 4 or 5 weeks after I had Lily, I was back down to 165, and now here we are 30lbs heavier. I had every intention of getting back into the gym as often as I could, as soon as I could, but it ended up being a lot more difficult than I had thought. I wanted to spend as much time with my daughter as I could. My mom baby-sits, and sometimes Lily is with her 12 hours a day, and I just didn't want to burden my mom (and have Lily away from us even longer) by going to the gym in the mornings before work. Then my mom said she'd keep her later if I wanted to go after work, so I did a few times. But, picking Lily up at 9 at night didn't shorten the time she was at my parents and away from me, and then I had what felt like even less time with her once we got home, because I had house hold chores to do and she fell asleep. I had a lot of bad mommy guilt and bad wife guilt, so that plan went out the window. Even though I had changed my eating habits for the most part, no physical activity had caught up in a big way.

That brings us to Insanity, here and now. I can do it at home. Whether I get up early, wait until Lily falls asleep, or do it in the middle of the afternoon while she watches me look ridiculous from her playpen, I can do it and not lose time with her. Being at home jumping around like a lunatic requires a clean floor, so the house is staying cleaner so I have work space. I'm going to work on my eating and change those habits even more.

My goal for my family is to be really active and healthy. I want to make sure JP and I are able to instill GOOD habits in Lily so she enjoys outdoor/athletic/physical activity and doesn't wrinkle her nose at a plate of grilled tilapia and veggies because it's not breaded, fried, and nugget shaped. I want to make sure JP and I have ourselves in good shape before Lily is old enough to remember what we look like out of shape.

Rather than sitting around and continuing to complain about how big I feel (all the while getting bigger), I'm going to push myself through to the end of this workout. Then, I might do it again. Hopefully by then, I'll be at my new job at the Main Office with better hours, so I'll have more leeway for gym time. I'm GOING to get back in shape...maybe even better shape than ever!

Look ma! No hands!

Two in one day, how lucky for you, readers! I started out with 4 people following my blog and now I have 16, so I have to keep the interest up. Here's another blog, straight out of the challenge...

Day 24: Something I've Learned

In almost 28 years, I've learned a lot of things, so when I first read this topic, I thought along the same lines of a friend of mine doing this challenge... "Really? Something I've learned? I've learned a lot in 28 years...what kind of topic is this?" I talked a lot about learning lessons in the regrets blog, but I'm sure I can come up with something(s) I've learned for this one. You know all that book learnin' I did at Friendship Christian and Cumberland, as well as some real world experience has taught me at least something...we hope, anyway.

1. I've learned that 2+2=4, unless you're doing algebra, then it could equal x, y, z, or even an imaginary number. That's another thing altogether that I've learned. There IS such a thing as an imaginary number.

2. I've learned that sometimes stupid things take up space in your brain's memory bank, such as a childhood phone number (410-538-6947...my phone number when I was 5!) but other, more important things (like remembering to text your best friend on her birthday, which happens to fall conveniently on the same day every year for her whole life and as long as you've known her) don't stick.

3. When I was about 24, I learned that I can no longer eat whatever I want with no repercussions. I learned this lesson the hard way.

4. I've learned that no matter how hard you try, not everyone is going to like you. I've also learned that the people who don't like you when you're totally, 100% yourself aren't people you should want in your life anyway.

5. I've learned that, while it's great to have my own identity, I truly love being "JP's wife" and "Lily's mommy". I will always wear those two titles proudly.

6. I've learned that no matter how airtight and absolute you think a plan is that you've made...life is probably not going to happen that way. I've learned it's much easier to form a general idea of what you want out of life or a particular situation, and the rest of the time just go with the natural flow of life. Crap happens and plans get messed up, and instead of letting it ruin your day, life, whatever, you just kind of have to go back to square one, assess the damage, and move in the new direction.

7. I've learned that I may not be the smartest, prettiest, thinnest person in the world, but the most awesome man on the planet loves me and THAT is all that matters.

8. I've learned that sometimes, the best approach to life is to sit down, shut up, and strap yourself in for the ride. Other times, the best approach is go to "Look ma! No hands" while blindfolded.

9. I've learned that acne doesn't always go away when you're no longer a teenager. Yay.

10. I've learned that life is what you make it. If you let the bad stuff get to you and drag you down, you'll never find happiness. You've got to take the bad stuff and learn from it. It's important to realize that sometimes bad stuff is going to happen. No matter what you do, it'll happen-- you'll get sick, have an unexpected bill, whatever the case may be. It's how you approach these issues that determines what kind of person you'll let life make you. Those people that always feel sorry for themselves and make themselves out to be the victims of their situations instead of owning their situations, are the most unhappy people in the world. I don't want to spend my time dwelling on the bad.

11. I've learned that I had no idea what love really was until I had Lily. The love I have for her is immeasurable, and the love I have for JP has grown exponentially.

12. I've learned that baby poop is no joke. It still to this day amazes me how so much can come out of something so small, sometimes.

13. I've learned that there are people in this world who are just really, truly, honestly and deeply bad. Likewise, I've learned that not everyone is out to get me, and there are more good, honest, and truthful people in the world than bad ones.

14. Just as I've learned that not everyone will like you, I've also learned that you can't please everyone all the time. What matters is, at the end of the day, you make choices that are good ones for you and your family.

15. I've learned that there will always be someone in my life who will disagree with me, just for the sake of argument or being different. If I say I love Dr. Pepper, they'll say Coke is better. If I say the sky is a beautiful shade of cerulean blue, they'll contend it's more of a greyish robin's egg blue., and that they've seen prettier. If I say I think Lily weighs about 22lbs, they'll say no, it's probably closer to 23lbs and 9.25 ounces. I've learned you just have to smile, nod, and continue on.

16. I've learned that Wal-Mart bathrooms are the nastiest places on earth. I know this is a glaring generalization but from what I've seen, it's true. Don't get me started on the bathrooms at the Wal-Mart where I work...that's a whole different blog post.

Days 22, and 23...My favorite bible verse and favorite quotes, and other stuff.

Upon looking back at this month, I found I have 21 entries. Some people are thinking "Wow! I can't believe I've read 21 pieces of nothing on this blog in the last month!" But others are thinking (myself included) "Wait, isn't this a blog a day challenge? Didn't she start it at the beginning of the month? Isn't this the 29th? That's 8 entries missing..." While the short attention spanned side of me is proud of myself for 21 rambling entries, the studious part of me is upset that I didn't totally stick to the challenge. But, I'm writing a lot of things that weren't part of the challenge, and I actually enjoy what I'm doing, so I guess I need to look at this as an accomplishment, even if completing the actual challenge takes 10935084 days instead of 30.

I'm actually going to write about the challenge topic, but before I do, here are short recaps of things I mentioned in prior blogs.

Lily didn't have a new word yesterday, but she still talked to us all night. She cheered for me when I did my fit test, and picked up some letters in the tub when I asked her to find them. Her favorite letters (or the ones she can identify correctly most often) are B, O, and T. She can show me her fish toys in the tub, as well as the octopus toys. Right now, one of her favorite things to do is pick up something and hold is up for us to tell her what it is, what color it is, and what sound it makes (if any). She's so curious, and I love it.

Since you're reading this, that means I actually wrote today, and THAT means I didn't die from the Fit Test for Day 1 of Insanity. (Sorry to those of you I bequeathed my stuff to yesterday before the work out, I know you all wanted my books, clothes, shoes, and cooking stuff!) I have never seen a work out more aptly named. It is insane, and you have to BE insane to do it. I did at least one rep of each exercise, which is saying something when the super buff, fit people on the video are only doing 9 or 10 of a particular exercise, for my fat butt to make it through one is an accomplishment. There were a few exercises where I actually did more than JP, which is also an accomplishment, considering I'm the antithesis of anything athletic and he has worked out at least 100 times more than me since I got pregnant. I didn't die, I didn't pass out, and I didn't throw up (even though I felt like it for a little while afterwards). Now I'm as ready as I'll ever be for the brutal workout, and the next Fit Test at the end of week 2. JP is bribing me with promises of new, skinny clothes, so I must stick with it. I'd like to note here, after doing the actual Day 1 workout, Insanity is 45 minutes of hell 6 days a week. But, again, I didn't die. Threw up, but didn't die. Accomplishment!

We are going to see Minus the Bear in concert-- I'm so excited! They're playing at the Cannery Ballroom on June 1, which is the day before our anniversary. It's also towards the end of Insanity, so we can dually celebrate.

And now, I present to you, Day 22 of the actual blog challenge: "My Favorite Bible Verse".

I had actually decided to skip this one at first. Not because I don't like the Bible or anything like that, but because I wasn't sure what verse was actually my favorite. I try to live a good life and do the right thing, but I don't attend church regularly and I don't have a denominational affiliation. I was kind of concerned that I would come off as a hypocrite on this one. But, then I reconsidered it, and I know in my heart that it doesn't matter what church I do or do not attend, faith is faith and I have that. So, here is one of my favorite passages:

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. ⁸ Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

To me, this passage is one everyone needs to take to heart and live their life by. I think people spend a lot of their time doing the complete opposite of loving one another. If we spent more time being patient, kind, humble, honorable, calm, and forgiving, wouldn't this world be a better place? Love is the perfect, clean, innocent emotion. I know this is the passage commonly used at weddings, but it should be a verse commonly used throughout relationships in our lives. I love my husband, and I know when he makes me mad, I'll get over it because I forgive him because of the love I have for him. But what if we applied this verse to other areas of our lives?

How often do we lose our patience with others? How often, when you get upset with everyone else, do you want to give them a laundry list of everything they've ever done to annoy you? (Well, you not only spilled coffee on my rug and ruined it, but 25 years ago, at my 3rd birthday, you took 2 goody bags, and when I was 12, you lost my favorite scrunchie, and 3 years ago you were late to our lunch date...) Instead of being happy for your friend who got a new job or moved into a bigger house, we often wonder why WE didn't get a new job or when will WE move into a larger house...why? Relationships full of anger, hatred, and mistrust ALWAYS fail, but relationships full of love thrive forever.

I believe, wholeheartedly, that the life we have here is truly the worst it's going to ever get for those who believe in God and heaven. Bad days, Murphy's Law (if it can happen, it will happen), anger, evil, jealousy, crime, fear...none of that is waiting for you on the other side if you live your life correctly. But, since we are stuck in this life for a long time, why can't we try to make it as good and happy as we can? Approach life and everything in it with love, and see what happens!

Day 23: My Favorite Quote

Continuing right along with the actual challenge is something that goes along with the Bible verse day. "My Favorite Quote". It's hard for me to pick just one, so here is a sampling of quotes that have really stuck out to me over the years.

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of another"-- Charles Dickens

I like this one because it's so true. There are a lot of times when I feel like I'm not important, and this reminds me that sometimes even the littlest things I do for another person may have lightened their load (or their heart) and for that, I have a purpose.

"Life can be wildly tragic at times, and I've had my share. But whatever happens to you, you still have to keep a slightly comic attitude. In the final analyses, you have got not to forget to laugh"-- Katherine Hepburn

This one is so true. You have to just find the humor in some things, or you'll drive yourself crazy.

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes. I am out of control, and at times hard to handle, but if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best." -- Marilyn Monroe

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow, for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."-- Anonymous

I often talk about how it makes me sad that Lily is growing so fast, so this quote is really great for me right now. There is always something that needs to be cleaned or washed at home, but my baby girl won't always want to be cuddled and hugged.

"Be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet. Make all your friends feel there is something special in them. Look at the sunny side of everything. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Be as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give everyone a smile. Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize others. Be too big for worry and too noble for anger." -- Christian D. Larsen

I told you, I am an eternal optimist.

"Any change, any loss, does not make us victims. Others can shake you, surprise you, disappoint you, but they can't prevent you from acting, from taking the situation you're presented wtih an moving on. No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation, you can always do something. You always have a choice, and the choice can be power." -- Blaine Lee

When bad things happen, it's so easy for us to take the route of "Woe is me! How could this happen?" It's so much easier to wallow in self-pity than to pick yourself up by your boot straps, brush yourself off, and continue on with life. It's hard for us to remember that we have a choice in everything, and how we handle even the smallest change can make a huge difference in our whole lives.

I didn't die doing Day 1 of Insanity....

As promised, I'm bringing you a blog about things that make me happy. Happy is much better than annoyed, and I have to keep up my "Sunshine and Rainbows" positive persona. When you approach life positively, you feel better about the outcome of anything life throws at you, anyway, so we can all use a good dose of it every now and again. There is no easier way to improve your mood and help you feel better about yourself and your situation, than to make a list of things that make you happy. Not things that you think would make you happy (A mansion! A million dollars! A Remington 700! --that's for JP--etc, etc, etc) but things that you already have in your life that make you happy.

There's a little kid's saying that is appropriate for this kind of thing: "We get what we get, and we don't fuss a bit." I say this is appropriate because life doesn't just hand you a golden ticket. Sometimes, life hands you lemons (to that, I say add vodka and throw a party), and sometimes, life takes a big poo and you step in it while wearing your favorite shoes (to that, I say, weren't you wanting new shoes anyway?). No matter what life hands you...what curve ball gets hit into the left field of your existence...it's important to take stock of the good, and wonderful things you have and what makes you happy.

So here is a list of mine.

1. Chocolate makes me happy. I know, there is a chemical compound in chocolate that makes a person feel that way, but I'm still listing it. Chocolate would thrill me if it were fat free and still tasted good, and I would be nearly to the point of spontaneous combustion due to happiness if chocolate were fat free, tasted good, and melted away unsightly fat.

2. Lily's voice makes me happy. It's just the cutest sound in the world. I can't explain it. Her laugh is contagious and makes me so happy to hear. I love hearing her talk and laugh. I guess, what really makes me happy is that she is happy.

3. Reading a good book...actually...reading mostly any book, makes me happy. I like how quickly the time passes when I get engrossed in a book. I like learning new things by reading, and I like the enjoyment reading a trashy book brings. It makes me happy to be into books enough to read pretty much anything anyone puts in my hands.

4. Pink stuff makes me happy. I thought by the time Lily actually got here, I'd hate pink because it exploded in a way I never thought possible in my house during my pregnancy. But in actuality, quite the opposite has happened. I LOVE the color pink, both for Lily and for myself and my stuff.

5. Getting something I want on a really good sale makes me happy. Getting it on a really good sale AND being able to use coupons with it? Even better.

6. My car makes me happy. No, not the Impala that I always complain about (though, in all actuality, once we fix the cosmetic problems and get it tuned up, I won't dislike it nearly as much), but my Ford Escape. I have had it for 9 years and 130,000 miles. It's been my car longer than JP's been my husband (or even my boyfriend, for that matter). When we finally do get rid of it, I'll cry.

7. JP makes me happy. Duh. I know you all know this. So, something specifically that he does that makes me happy is when I'm having a bad day or not feeling so awesome, he acts extra goofy just to make me smile.

8. Bath time makes me happy. Lily is a little wild monkey, and when you put her in the water, she becomes a little wild monkey fish. She splashes so much water, that I might as well be in the tub myself. Some people would get mad at having to change clothes and sop water up off of the floor in the bathroom every night, but she has so much fun, I can't be mad. If she even hears the water running in the tub, the look of sheer joy in her eyes is the best thing in the world. She could flood the bathroom (and probably will, one day) and I'll still be happy.

9. Don't anyone tell my husband, but it makes me happy that he is so into the whole survivalist thing. I mean, it does drive me crazy that he goes on and on and on about buying guns and ammo and making me & Lily go bags and how we need to stock up on food, water and supplies, but deep down I know he is crazy over it because of how much he cares for us and wants to protect us, should something bad ever happen. THAT is what makes me happy, to know that he cares that deeply, because other people aren't as fortunate to have a person like that in their lives.

10. My sense of humor makes me happy. I can take a joke, and I can laugh at myself. I have a self-deprecating sense of humor and I'm the first to poke fun at myself. I never used to think I was funny, but as I get older, either I'm getting funnier or I have recognized I'm a little witty from time to time. Either way, I think I'm pretty down to earth, and I like that about myself.

I don't know about you all, but I feel better already.

Yesterday was annoying!

Yesterday was a terrible, no good, very bad, awful, icky, yucky, blah, "I-wish-I-could-go-back-to-bed-and-sleep-til-tomorrow" type of day. Nothing really, really bad happened, just a bunch of little crappy things that all together formed one big finger that pressed my big red "Do Not Push" button. Because I was little Miss Negativity yesterday, I have re-evaluated my day and tried to come up with something positive or some lessons I learned. Here's what I've got.

1. An 8oz bottle of formula, when spilled in it's entirety across your bed in the middle of the night, looks more like a gallon. It also requires the memory foam mattress pad and sheet to be removed because if you cover it with towels to soak up the milk instead of change the bed, it feels much like a Princess & the Pea situation. I thought Lily and I were going to roll off the bed because it felt like we were sleeping on a mountain side. To make this positive, JP had been talking about removing the mattress pad anyway, and it was just about time to strip the bed and wash the sheets anyway. Both problems, solved. Thank you, Similac formula and leaky Avent bottle.

2. Fuel injector cleaner really does work and make a difference when put in your gas tank; however, the "Easy open pull tab" is not easy open. This will splatter on your wool coat, making it (and you) smell like a garage. At least my car runs beautifully, and at 130,000 miles, this is VERY good.

3. I never carry an umbrella. One day, while out wandering through Wal-Mart, I happened upon a very compact, zebra print umbrella. I bought it, and have been quite proud of myself ever since because now, I always have an umbrella with me. Well, now that it's rained and I've used said umbrella, who's approximate circumference will only cover the width of a small child, not a fluffy (read: full figured) adult, I'm no longer proud of myself for my purchase. Maybe when I lose weight and don't have body parts sticking out all over the place from underneath the umbrella, I'll like it more. On the upside, my glasses didn't get wet, which is one of my very biggest pet peeves.

In honor of my no good, very bad, terrible awful day full of annoyances, I am going to tell you about my top annoyances. But first, here are a few other things.

Lily's word of the day is actually more like a few phrases. She now knows the first 4 letters of her ABC's, and can tell you what noise a cow, sheep, and chicken make. Her "baaaaa" sounds more like some kind of creepy machine gun alien voice, but it's cute nonetheless. She has also learned that she can stand up in the seat of a cart (much to my dismay, my child IS a daredevil with no fear of anything), and now does this little cheesy grin and wave to people when we're out in public. I bought her a pair of pink bunny ears at Target yesterday, and she wore them, grinned, and waved at people through the rest of the store.

Tonight, I'm doing the "fit test" portion of Insanity. Should I survive this, I will give you an update on how I faired. I have a friend who's lost close to 15lbs in about 4 weeks on the Insanity program, so I'm hoping I have similar results. I'm really hoping I don't throw up, pass out, or let this workout kill me. It would be very detrimental to my already faltering self esteem.

I told you the other day about the Nesting book I read. I've now started a new book, "Sliding Into Home" by Kendra Wilkinson (yes, that Kendra...from Girls Next Door). I just started it today and I'm nearly finished. It's her autobiography, and it's awesome. I had no idea a lot of things that she'd gone through in her life. If you don't mind bad language (the book is written exactly how she talks on the show, but without the bleeps), it's a quick, fun read.

And now, the topic du jour. We'll call this "Day 17..18..20? Things That Drive Me Crazy".

1. When people use big words incorrectly or misspell them, that annoys me. Pseudonym is pronounced Soo-dough-nim, not swayde-oh-nim. If you can't say it correctly, don't say it.

2. When people turn their turn signals on 230849023984 miles before their turn, so you get used to driving behind them with the signal flashing, and then they turn sharply...that annoys me.

3. Laundry annoys me. Why is it NEVER ever done? I can do 300 loads of clothes and at the end of the day, the clothes we all have on are dirty and need to be washed.

4. You all already know my annoyance when it comes to leggings, so I won't go into it again. One thing worth repeating: There are certain items of clothing that should not be worn once a person reaches a certain clothing size. These include: bikinis (not 2 pieces...bikinis...you know the things with the little triangles and strings), daisy duke shorts, and leggings, and this size is anything over about a size 4, unless you're in great physical shape.

5. When people question the obvious, it annoys me. If I'm sitting indoors, wearing a coat, why ask me "Are you cold?" Worst than questioning the obvious, is pointing out the obvious. If I'm shaking off a wet umbrella, I don't need you to tell me "It's raining outside." I'm aware, thank you. I'd much rather be told things I don't know, such as "There is a giant attack spider poised to jump on your head" or "I know a secret phone number to Wal-Mart that will get you to someone who will not only turn the air conditioning off when it's cold, but will also get someone to actually maintain a clean restroom."

6. Dirty glasses, wet glasses, or anything other than pristine, clear glasses, annoy me. I'm nearsighted so I have a hard time seeing anything that's not right up in my face. As a result, even the slightest smudge on my glasses is ridiculously visible and annoying. One of JP's favorite past times is licking his fingers then rub my glasses with them. One of these days, I'm going to knock him out if I can ever get my glasses cleaned quick enough to see where he runs off to.

7. When people ask when JP and I are having another baby, that annoys me. We'll have another baby when we feel like it. Right now we're enjoying and spoiling Lily, and Lily is our sole focus. We like it that way.

8. Probably one of my biggest annoyances is when people treat me or talk to me like I'm less intelligent than them. I hate being made to feel like I am stupid, because I'm not. There are definitely ways to speak to people and ways not to. I also don't like being made to feel like I am less of a person or less quality of a person. We are all people, and none of us are perfect and flawless, so don't look down your nose at me.

That's all I'll list for now. Those are my biggest, ugliest pet peeves. I think I'm going to have to follow this with a second post about things that make me happy. There are many, many more of those than things that annoy me.

Things that were left out of my new baby handbook that I'm glad I know now...

After talking through a few facebook messages with a friend of mine last night, I got to thinking about things everyone tells women when they're pregnant, and what you read in books, and things of that nature, and how different it can truly be for some of us once the tiny, pink, wrinkled, curled up bundle of joy arrives. In the first few months, I often found myself saying or thinking "Well, this certainly wasn't in the handbook!" So today, I decided to write about some of my experiences, and fill you all in on some topics that should've, most emphatically, been in MY handbook.

1. Just because you have boobs doesn't mean you'll be a great breastfeeder. This also goes along with my number 2.

2. If your child ingests formula, she will not die. She will not have growth problems. She will not get sick more than breastfed babies.

These two things go hand in hand. So many different factors come together to determine how successful a woman will be at breastfeeding. I had just about every negative factor working against me. First, Lily was early, so her latch and suck weren't developed enough. Bottles are much easier to get milk out of than a boob, so she mastered a bottle quickly but never did have luck with breastfeeding. I also had low production and flat nipples. I pumped exclusively for months...sometimes up to 15 times a day for 30-45 minutes at a time. Then I went back to work and that was cut down to next to nothing. I took so much fenugreek I smelled like I bathed in maple syrup. I drank the nasty teas. I did everything to no avail. When Lily was about 5 weeks old, she was still a little bit of nothing. She hadn't made it back to her birth weight (which, by the way, they should do within the first week or two). We went to a lactation consultant who did everything she could for us, but who also suggested we start supplementing with formula. I had been so determined to breastfeed ("I'm going to breastfeed her until she's a year old!" I proclaimed.) that it was damaging to my spirits to have to supplement with the dreaded formula but I was more concerned at that point that my daughter, who was born early because she failed to thrive in my womb, was going to fail to thrive outside as well. There are a lot of very wonderful reasons to breastfeed, and I'm very proud of what I managed to accomplish for Lily, and I very quickly learned that while it was a setback to my "plan", it wasn't the end of the world. I did get some flack from some adamant breastfeeding proponents for supplementing and ultimately switching to formula. Some claimed I didn't try hard enough, and others claimed formula would cause her all kinds of problems. She'd get sick more, she wouldn't grow as fast, I'm not doing my motherly duty...I really let it bother me for a bit, but when we took her back at 6 weeks, after just 6 days of supplementing with a few bottles of formula a day, she had gained 15oz. The following week, she gained another 1lb 2oz. By the time my supply had dried up, in spite of the 20-25 herbal pills I was taking a day, I felt ok with going totally to formula. My child is thriving just fine. She's only been sick once, and that was just a cold (and it was brought on by teething), and though she's petite for her age (probably genetics inherited from both of her short grandmothers), her growth chart is arcing just perfectly.

3. Every book, birthing class, and nurse will say that babies LOVE to be swaddled, and when the baby is fussing, the tighter the swaddle, the quicker the baby calms and the longer the baby sleeps. Maybe this is true for every other baby in the world...but it was never, not once, true for mine. Oh, we practiced and practiced swaddling. Ask JP. He was a master swaddler of all of the stuffed animals in Lily's room before she arrived. But Lily? She was like Houdini in baby form. We'd put her in a long infant gown (another thing everyone swore was so easy to use and babies loved...except for mine) and swaddle her so tight she was a burrito with a face. We'd put her in her bassinett, sneak out of the room, and within minutes, she'd cry. We'd rush back in and there would be arms, legs, and an open swaddle. Several times she couldn't get out of the swaddle alone, so she'd get out of the nightgown! We'd go in and there she'd be, looking up at us, laying horizontally at the top edge of the bassinett instead of vertically in her sleep positioner like we laid her, naked except for a diaper. Houdini, I tell you, considering we'd given up the swaddle completely by the time she was about 3 weeks old.

4. Just because your baby CAN do something doesn't mean she WILL do it. Lily could crawl when she was 5 months old. However, she knew if she pitched a fit, threw her face into the rug, and reached up for us while giving us big puppy dog eyes, we'd pick her up. She preferred standing to sitting and holding our hands and walking to crawling. She has only just recently begun crawling to get places on her own, and still the whole time she grumbles. She slams her hands down and gives exasperated sighs the whole time. The reason she now crawls is because we get absolutely worn out walking her all over creation!! I'm fairly certain that the little whirling dirvish can walk, too, and just is too stubborn to show us. She's waiting until she's really good at it so she can take off running from me during diaper change time or something.

5. On a serious note, no one really told me how serious, scary, and real post partum depression is or could be. I was blessed with the opportunity to spend 12 weeks on maternity leave, and doubly blessed that JP was able to be home with me. That time wasn't all sunshine and rainbows, though. We had a LOT of things go on during that time-- the feeding issues, the discovery of Lily's Horner's Syndrome, finding termites in the flower bed, the air conditioner unit needing to be replaced (along with the hot water heater AND the dishwasher) and a host of other things, including some work stress that I will not go into. A few weeks in to being home, I remember JP's parents and sisters came over and instructed me to go get some sleep (I had been sleeping with Lily on the couch for the whole time at that point) and they'd take care of Lily and clean the house. I remember laying in the bed with the door closed absolutely beside myself with worry over Lily. I couldn't sleep. That fear quickly spread to whenever I was away from her, if anyone other than JP had her, I silently and quietly panicked until I was back or she was back in my arms. That turned into a nearly paralyzing fear that she something would happen to her if she slept in her bassinett away from me. I had myself convinced that if I wasn't with her every second of every day, something terrible would happen. As nursing and pumping got tougher, and every new bad thing happened, it got worse and worse. I was crying more than I was enjoying my time with my new family. I remember telling someone in my family who laughed it off and told me I was being ridiculous. It felt like I loved her so much that it physically hurt me to leave her. JP and his sister were the only two people who listened, didn't judge and encouraged me to talk to my doctor about it. I was put on anti-depressants for a while and the results were amazing. I could actually go take a nap without images of Lily being dropped on her head popping into my mind. Several months in, I started feeling so much better that I weaned myself off the pills. I don't recommend doing this because all of those feelings came back and quick. I'm only just now getting totally back to myself and even now, I still have some days where I don't know why I feel the way I do and don't know how to shake it.

6. I am almost completely convinced that my bladder will never work the same after being kicked repeatedly, from the inside, at increasing strengths, for 5 months. I am also convinced that my stomach will never look the same, and I may never be able to brush my teeth again, ever in my life, without gagging. Oddly enough, I am totally ok with it.

7. People will say that you'll forget the sucky parts of pregnancy, how tough labor was, and any other pregnancy, labor, delivery, or recovery discomforts as soon as you see your bundle of joy. They say that's the only reason why women choose to have more than one child, because they forget. That's a crock. I don't know that I will ever forget how sick I was and how just a totally miserable pregnant person I was, nor will I forget how awesome and easy labor, delivery, and recovery were. I really disliked being pregnant, with the exception how amazing it was to feel Lily move around all the time. That being said, I still want more kids. I don't think it is that you forget all the bad parts. I think it's that you get to see all of the fantastic good parts, and that makes all the bad worth it. I'd go through every second of what I did, every ache, pain, and nauseating minute of pregnancy to have another baby. And I doubt I'll ever forget any aches, pains, and discomforts I may experience with that pregnancy, either. But it'll be so worth it, because every time I look at Lily, or she gives me a kiss or does something hilarious, or even when she's sad and crying, she's totally, absolutely, unequivocably, worth it.

What's in a name?

I am actually going to do the blog challenge topic today, but not right this second. I'll get to it, I promise.

Here is something I noticed this morning. I LOVE my ob/gyn...she is wonderful, and I'm sure you've already read my blogs about how her quick decision making made the difference in a healthy, living baby and a stillborn one. But anyway, she has steered me wrong and given me false hope in one area. From basically the second I became pregnant, brushing my teeth became the bane of my existence. Every time...every single time...I would get gagged. My doctor said it was definitely from my morning sickness and once that went away (which ended up being when I had Lily), I would be fine. Now, 15 days before Lily's 1st birthday, I am still having the SAME issues brushing my teeth, and I assure you, it is NOT due to morning sickness. I'm going to chalk it up to something from pregnancy that is not going to go away, like some women end up with bigger feet or inability to ever eat their favorite foods again. But anyway...

One of my co-workers bought a wonderful book at the community help center for $0.25 and she brought it to me to read today. It's called "Nesting: It's a Chick Thing 100 Tales, 1,000 Tips, and Endless Inspiration for women who seriously play house and garden (and hold pink poker nights)" by Ame Mahler Beanland & Emily Miles Terry. It's really informative and funny, and it's basically taking a modern twist on the 50's housewife.

What I've learned from this book so far:

1. My decorating style is half Country Chic Chick and half Bohemian Babe. (There's that Gemini duplicity again!) What this means is in my house, you'll see that I'm "drawn to the patina of age and the charm of a little wear around the edges" and that I "weave a nest filled with character, whimsy, and in-your-face personality." I have a welcoming home filled with sentimental treasures as well as original artwork, unusual and unique furniture (or vintage, painted wood, or distressed pieces). This book says I should gravitate towards Country Living and Pottery Barn as well as Elle Decor and Crate and Barrel. I'm a little bit modern and a little bit shabby chic. I'd say that is pretty accurate, and anyone who has seen my house (or listened to my decorating ideas) should probably agree. Basically, I buy or paint first, then find a place to put it later.

2. Friends fall into 7 categories, and it's beneficial to have at least one in every category. There's the "Jackie" who is basically the Hollywood stylist-- from clothes to decorating. She's the fashion forward trendsetter. Then there's the "Green Gertie"-- the organic, dirt loving, garden happy friend who can lend you green thumbs when yours turn purple. The "Martha" who is, as you guessed, the Martha Stewart (who is the women's MacGyver...give her a bandana, paperclips, and a dryer sheet and she'll make you custom drapes). The "Bargain Betty" is on a first name basis with every consignment store or flea market owner within a 100 mile radius (and emails the ones outside of it) and knows every where in the universe to find a good deal. The "Fix it Fanny" is the friend who takes do it yourself to a whole new level. Tools don't scare her, even if she doesn't know their proper name. The "Neighborly Nellie" is the one who will always be there to help with anything-- whether you need to talk or you need someone to help you move furniture. Then, last but assuredly not least, there is the "Mother Hen". She is always there to take care of you, give you advice about any topic under the sun, and will not hesitate to swoop in and rescue you from anything from a recipe to a relationship gone bad. I can think of people in my life that fall at least somewhat, in every category. Do you know where YOU fall?

3. I really, REALLY want to have a Pink Poker Party Girl's Night. It sounds like it would be a ton of fun, even though I really don't know how to play poker. There is supposed to be a fun themed dress, like, pajamas, 50's housewife, etc. Then, everyone brings some kind of over the top "diva" item (like a big piece of funky costume jewelry, a tiara, a feather boa, etc) and that is what becomes the pot in the last hand. So, the person that wins the last hand becomes the Pink Poker Diva. That would be a lot of fun, I think!! Who all is interested?!

4. Create the right atmosphere and present food in the right way, and no one will ever know it was all store-bought.

5. I have been inspired to create plant holders out of, well, everything. Gift boxes, old high heeled shoes, cowboy hats, hat boxes...I think it's time we added some springtime to our house.

Next on the agenda...Lily's word(s) of the day. Today, my little linguist pointed to a picture (of herself) and said "Pretty baby!" (no one said she wasn't conceited). It was so cute "Pitty baybeh...pitty pitty baybeeeee!" Then, when she handed my grandmother a toy, my grandmother said "Thank you". Lily responded "Tank yoooo!" She is also learning to say yellow and purple, and can point to those colors when asked. "yah yow" and "pip purl"

Now, on to the blog challenge topic. I'm not sure what day this is, so we'll just call it "Day I'm-so-far-behind-in-the-challenge-I've-lost-track-completely: Nicknames!" (There, simple and easy to remember.)

As long as I can remember, my mom has always told the story that she named me Amy because she felt like it was short enough and easy enough to remember that no one would give me any nicknames. Shortly after I was born, and probably because I was early and tiny, that went right out the window when my aunt christened me "Sweet Pea". Later, my grandfather started calling me "Amo" which my grandmother later shortened to just "Aim". At Cumberland, my sorority sisters christened me "Amers", which was again later shortened to just "Aim" until my friend Brandi's mom started calling me "Aimless".

In the last 10-15 years, I've answered to any and every variation of "Amy", as well as "Baby", "Babe", "Sweetie", and now, one of my favorites "Mama".

As a funny side note, when I was pregnant with Lily, I was adamant that she wouldn't have any nicknames. "Her name is Lily Katherine!" I'd say emphatically. "She's been called Oops for the last 6 months! Her name is Lily Katherine!" Within minutes of the decision her name would be Lily Katherine, she was nicknamed Lily Kate. Within minutes of her being born, she was nicknamed Peanut, and she's been everything since then-- punkin, punkinhead, Lily-bug, sugar bug, sugar booger, baby girl-- you name it, and we've probably called her by it. So much for no nicknames!!

Luh Yoo Mama

I've got no challenge topic today, either. I'll do the photo ones, I promise, just as soon as I can get blogger to cooperate and put my photos where I want them in my blog. If I could get the hang of this and supplement my rambling with photos, I feel like you'd be much more amused. One day. Maybe this weekend I'll have a spare few minutes to give myself a tutorial. Until then, I apologize for subjecting you to endless text. Maybe I should start doing a quiz at the end, or nominating a reader of the week like Courtney at Cowboy Cookies does.

1. Lily's word of the evening last night: Fish. Her new word this morning: Shoe. Also, she said something I have been waiting almost a year (and the 9 months I was growing her) to hear. I told her "I love you" and she looked up at me, smiled, patted my cheek and said "Luh yoo maamaa" I melted into a big puddle of proud, mushy, gooey, sappiness and cried. After she said that, she pointed to my foot and said "Shoe!" and burst out laughing. I love her so much that it kills me to leave her every day. I just cherish what time we do have together.

2. JP and I did the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace University Home Study program in Oct/Nov. I calculated it today, and we've paid off $10,000 in debt since October. We still have about another $10,000 to go (about half of that is our car) and then we'll have nothing but the house. Remember those bad financial decisions I talked about in the "regret" blog? They're almost gone. I'm really glad they're almost gone, and I am still ashamed for bringing that to my marriage. Instead of debt, I wish I would've brought a fat savings account. C'est la vie. There's not much I can do now, except pay it off and try to instill financial intelligence in my daughter. It's been a hard lesson, and one I've had to burdern JP with, as well, but we've both learned a lot and have big plans for our financial future.

3. I am starting to get excited about Lily's birthday party. A lot of our closest friends will be there, and I can't wait to see how much fun she has. I'm sad she's almost a year old, and I don't know where the time has gone, but I know I can't stop her from growing. This year has brought us so much. I'm looking forward to seeing how how she grows and changes in the next year. We are so blessed by having her in our lives. This time last year I was wondering what we would do with her, and how our lives would never be the same. It's true, life is totally different than it was last year, but it's such a good different. It's hard to remember what it was like without her.

4. This entry should probably just be titled "Lily" because, so far, 3 of the 4 posts are directly about her, and the other even mentions her. So, some of you may know, she hates chocolate. I think this is completely crazy, considering A. she's female and B. she comes from a long line of chocolate lovers on both sides of the family. I let her try a brownie a few weeks ago, and she gagged so hard she caused herself to throw up. She always wants to try what we're eating, and every time it's chocolate, she gags and/or throws up. Well, last night JP went to Sonic and brought me back a chocolate milkshake. Lily likes milkshakes, so I gave her a taste. That little booger drank half my milkshake and CRIED when it was all gone!

5. Today, Lily rode in her big girl car seat for the first time. I wasn't there to see it. She rode to her D-Daddy and B-B's house with her Daddy in the forward facing big girl seat. Can you tell how sad it makes me that she's growing up? I hate missing big events in her life, and to me, the first time in her big girl seat is a big event!

6. I love springtime. It's probably my favorite time of the year. I love it when everything is sprouting, budding, and growing. HOWEVER...I HATE what it does to my allergies!! So spring is my favorite time of the year, and my least favorite time of the year. There's that Gemini duplicity again.

That, my friends, is that. We've gone from one end of my brain to the other. Until tomorrow!!!

Of mullets, gardens, and sewing...

I can't even remember where I am in the daily challenges because I'm a. behind and b. picking and choosing the order I write them (or if I write a particular topic at all). So today's blog is just going to be another daily dose of random thoughts. I hope you all enjoyed our lively discussion on jeggings in the last one, so you're as pumped as me about today's.

1. First, lovely readers, you'll remember a few days ago where I mentioned how God brings people together in strange ways at just the right time, right? Well, the prayers for my friend have been answered. She received very good news yesterday regarding that whole situation. I'm still so thankful that I was able to get my two friends together to talk about it, because she was able to go into yesterday with a bit more peace than she would've had, and was able to rejoice in the good news she received.

2. I have been discussing learning how to sew for a long time. I think I had even mentioned it when I wrote about finding a new, productive hobby. My grandmother and mom both used to sew their own clothes, as well as clothes for me. So, I figured, while my grandmother is here visiting, it was the perfect time to pick both her and my mom's brains and learn how to sew. Yesterday, my grandmother and I went to Joanns, where I picked out a pattern, material, and other things needed for the project. And, I'm proud to say, I sewed Lily a dress. It doesn't look awful for my first attempt at sewing using a real pattern on a sewing machine. Of course, I feel like you can tell it's handmade because it doesn't look immaculate, but I am patting myself on the back here for a "not to shabby" job. I have another yard of different material and I'm going to make another one this weekend. I feel like this may be the productive hobby I have been looking for. I MAY even try to make her some matching hair bows, or, when I feel more talented, make them and sell them. I may even begin to get really industrious and make matching hair bows and other accessories. Look out, Etsy and mothers of baby girls...

3. My dad came over last weekend and he and JP built my garden boxes. Since this is my first year trying to garden, and I don't need huge amounts of crop yield, we decided not to till the yard. If I don't end up having a green thumb, I didn't want my yard to be too messed up. So, we built 3 big boxes. I'll fill them with fill dirt and topsoil and plant my plants on top. That way, if it is a big fluke, we can spread the dirt over the yard (maybe fill in some holes that the dogs dug) and put down some grass seed and ta da! the yard isn't ruined. I started my seeds in a little "greenhouse" which is basically a plastic tray with 72 little peat circles. I am so excited to see that some are already sprouting! We also planted a grape vine, a raspberry plant, and a blueberry plant. I have since read that it helps to have more than one of each plant because they cross pollinate, so I think I'm going to pick up another raspberry plant and another blueberry plant. Talk to me in the middle of the summer and see if I'm still as excited about my garden project, after picking weeds, watering, and protecting it from bugs, bunnies, and who knows what else.

4. I really need to take a tutorial on blogspot. I would like to post more pictures; however, I find myself getting frustrated trying to upload and insert them. Fellow bloggers...help!

5. Lily has been amazing me lately with how quickly and exponentially her vocabulary is growing. Just about 2 weeks ago, she had a vocabulary of 17 words. Now, it's around 25, probably even closer to 30. It seems like every day, she has a new word or phrase. She really is a little sponge. She just sits and listens sometimes and then pops out with the cutest, funniest little expressions, actions, and words. This morning, she pointed at a segment of her multi-colored caterpillar and plain as day said "yellow". And she was pointing to the yellow part! She knows where other people's eyes, noses, mouths, and teeth are, and when you ask to see her teeth, she'll chomp, chomp, chomp her teeth and laugh. She has a shape sorter and can put the circle and the square in the right holes. She loves to walk around. Last night she was practically running through my parent's house, holding onto my dad's fingers, and everytime she saw my mom, she'd scream at the top of her lungs and punch my mom in the butt. This morning, she saw my grandmother and said "Hey dude!" She points at pictures of herself and says "Aww...baby! Awww...." She greets everyone she sees by saying "Hey baby!" except for JP. When she sees JP she says, "Hey boy!" He answers her with "I'm not boy! I'm Daddy! It's 'Hey Daddy!'" and she just cracks up. It's amazing how much she's grown in the last (almost) year. As much as I don't want her to grow up, I can't wait to see what the future holds for us and her antics. I have a feeling we're in for a wild, crazy ride.

6. Fun Fact: Off-brand Pyrex glass baking dishes have the potential to explode into a million bajillion pieces if stored in the garage. Second fun fact: The pieces of exploded glassware will be so tiny that they will not puncture your tire if you don't see them when you pull into your garage and run them over. I learned these two fun facts yesterday night, much to my dismay.

7. JP and I have decided to do the Insanity work out program by Beachbody (the makers of P90X), because we're ready to do whatever it takes (read: gluttons for punishment) to lose our weight and get back in shape. Because we're cheap (read: scared we will hate the program and wuss out before the 60 days is up), we're getting the program from a friend of ours temporarily. Once we decide we like it (read: we don't pass out, throw up, or die), we'll invest in our own copy. Our goal is to do Insanity for the 60 days to shed weight, then do P90X for the 90 days after to continue weight loss and build muscle. I also plan on hitting up the park as often as the weather allows to push Lily in her stroller around the track so we can both get some sunshine and fresh air. If anyone would like to join us on these excursions, let me know and we'll plan something. I don't want to be the fat mommy.

8. I'm taking a week's vacation the week of JP's and Lily's birthday. I'm already compiling my list of things to do when I'm on said vacation, which will really make it not a vacation at all. So far, my week off includes painting the hallway and laundry room, and treating the yard with weed and feed and grub, tick, flea, and spider killer, and going to the eye doctor. I'm also going to reorganize the kitchen. Fun events of the week are Lily's first birthday and party, and JP's 30th birthday and party.

9. Today at work, I saw the most interesting mullet I've ever seen. It was a hybrid between dredlocks, a perm, and a mullet-- business in the front, and a curly, dredlocked mess about 11 inches long down the back. That's taking it to a whole new level. I get a front row seat to People of Wal-Mart on a daily basis. A piece of fashion advice for you all: If your belly hangs over your jeans...buy a pair of jeans in a larger size, and please, for the love of all things pure and innocent...wear a shirt that covers your midsection. Also, if coming to Wal-Mart and walking the outer edge of the store over and over again is your daily exercise, it's probably worth looking into a membership at the gym, or at the very least, using the walking track at the Jimmy Floyd or the park. Wal-Mart isn't part of the mall walkers club.

10. I'm thinking about having a yard sale in May. I have a bunch of junk that I'd like to get rid of, as well as a bunch of clothes, baby stuff, etc. Would anyone be interested in bringing their junk over and sitting with me? If I get a few people, maybe we can put an ad in the paper or something.

And that, ladies and gentlemen...probably just ladies, as I doubt men read my blog...is that.

Regrets are lessons you choose not to learn.

I don't know what today's blog entry is supposed to be. I'm so far behind I'm just kind of picking and choosing the topics I like now. The latest one I've read that I thought, "Well, this one could get interesting" is about regrets. "Something I Regret" is the official title. I think it's something like Day 20, but it's only Day 13 or 14 for me. That's ok, though.

Regrets, for me, are kind of funny. I try to look at everything that I've done in my life, good or bad, as learning experiences. I have learned different lessons from all of my mistakes, and every decision I've made is a decision that's helped me become the person I am today. Without them, I would have missed out on some valuable (read: long, hard, annoying, and costly) lessons. Having made most of these bad decisions when I was young, though, it's helped keep me from making worse mistakes (read: even more annoying and more costly) since I've been with JP and been married. I believe that everything happens for a reason, even the crappy stuff, because it enables us to make positive or negative changes in our life. But, that being said, I probably would change a few things if I could not change the outcome of any major events in my life.

1. I wouldn't have gotten a Visa credit card when I was 19. Well, actually, I probably would still if I had to do it over again, given that I was living on my own then and trying to build my credit. What I would NOT have done was add my then boyfriend as an authorized user of the card. 9 years and several thousand dollars later, I'm finally close to paying it off. Mistake? Yes. Lesson learned? Yes. Several. I will never have another credit card again, ever, and I will always tell everyone I know that if they DO have a credit card, to be very selective when and where you use it, and who is on it with you.

2. Normally, people would say "I never would have dated this person or that person". I am of the opposite opinion, which is kind of suprising to most people because until JP, I dated far less than stellar people who treated me terribly or took advantage of me, or both. I wouldn't change dating them. If anything, I'd change the duration in which I stayed with them. It would've been much, much shorter, and I would've made sure I didn't put up with nearly as much crap. Mistakes? Yes. Lessons learned? Oh, yes. The terrible, awful, lazy, dead beat, serial cheating, lying guys I dated made me realize what I had found in JP, very early in our relationship. Remembering how they treated me makes me appreciate him a million times more than I would if I hadn't had those experiences. They've also helped me learn to stand up for myself a little more and be less of a doormat, so my relationship with JP is give and take, and compromise. They made me realize I was worth more than I was giving myself credit for, and made me much more upfront with my feelings and thoughts. When JP and I first started dating, I laid it out on the table for him-- there were no games, and no back and forth. We were real with one another from the get go, and we still are today.

3. I wanted to go to school for interior design for as long as I can remember. I never did. I would've really liked that, I think, impractical as it probably would've proven. I have a great job and am very blessed to work for a stable employer where I don't have to worry. Had I gone to school for interior design, I would've been left to my own devices and probably been a starving artist. But, I would've done something I wanted. There is no real lesson to learn here, because deep down I do feel like I made the best decision. Even leaving college before I graduated is a decision I feel ok about. I didn't know what I wanted to do and wanted to wait to finish school until I knew what I wanted to do. When we're more financially ready, JP and I both plan to go back and finish school. Him for a degree in Criminal Justice, and me in nursing.

I read a silly email forward once that I think was supposedly written by Erma Bombeck. She was a comedienne back in the day, and I believe she passed away from breast cancer. But anyway, this email was about how, looking back on things, she wished she would've done little things in her life differently. For instance, she mentioned how she'd burn the decorative candles rather than box them up and hide them away in the attic. She'd let her kids and guests use the pretty hand towels and expensive soap. She'd set her table with the good china on an average Tuesday spaghetti night rather than hide it away in a china cabinet. Basically, she would've done things to allow herself and those around her to enjoy life to it's fullest. That email has always made me think. As a child, I collected erasers-- you know the kind shaped like flowers and smiley faces, etc. I also collected Lisa Frank notecards and stickers. And I never used them. I didn't want to "waste" them. I found a box at my mom's house a few months ago that contained ALL of those notecards, stickers, erasers, and all of my other "pretties" I never wanted to "waste". What did I do, then, essentially? Yep. I wasted them.

I could sit back all day and think about things I wish I would've done or said differently in my life. I could complain about people who have done me wrong, hurt my feelings, or broke my heart. I could hide all of my nice hand towels, and special food treats. But what good would it do? What good does being negative and constantly dwelling on the past? Instead of wishing about what I would change, I try to learn from my experiences and take those lessons to become a stronger person, and a better example for my daughter. Crappy stuff is going to happen. It's what you do when faced with it that makes a difference.

Jeggings are the worst fashion trend since mullets.

Today I'm feeling random, so I'm not going to do today's topic. It's supposed to be a picture that makes me smile but I haven't got that picture scanned onto my computer so it would be kind of hard for me to post it. And since getting the picture out, scanning it and so forth is a little bit of work, I'll save it for another day. One of the other topics I could've picked was "My Favorite Places to Eat". I am trying to eat healthy and lose weight so the only fat girl I have is my inner fat girl (not inner AND outer, as the current case is) so I'm skipping that topic all together. We need not angry the inner fat girl while the outer one is weak and easily succumbs. My inner child loves food, is highly imaginative, and a complete bully. If she says "Eat a Frosty", she backhands the outer me into submission. Then from somewhere in a corner, the outer me whimpers "But now we'll have to go the gym for an extra hour...and we haven't been at all this week...."

Today, I'm going to write about whatever pops into my head, so it's likely there will be little rhyme or reason to the subject matter.

1. I wish that diet chocolate tasted like regular chocolate. The chocolate in Slim Fast, energy bars, meal replacement bars and protein shakes IS NOT THE SAME as a regular old Hershey bar. It's really unfair to those of us trying to eat better that have a weakness for chocolate. Better yet, where can I find chocolate with 0 calories and fat? I'm guessing that's what will be on my dinner table in heaven.

2. The way that God brings people together is really random, yet at the same time, really cool. I have 2 mutual friends come to my Thirty-One Party a few weeks ago. I had no idea that they knew one another from a bible study group. One of the friends had something going on in her life and I just wasn't sure of the right thing to say or do to make her feel better. I prayed about it and then read something the other friend wrote a few days later. She had gone through the exact same thing. I was able to direct one to the other to talk about their situations, and I really think that everything about this situation had God's hands all over it.

3. My mom keeps Lily for me and I am eternally grateful for that. However, I wish that, sometimes, my mom would acknowledge that I am the primary caregiver and, after 11 and a half months of having Lily, I have a pretty good handle on things. Each day when I leave the house from picking her up, my mom says "She will probably need her diaper changed later." or "She will probably want a bottle before bed." Not, "I just changed her diaper a few minutes ago" (so I'll know not to as soon as I get home) or "She ate at 6:30" (so I'll have an idea of when she's hungry again). No, just general care instructions, like I'm going to forget or just randomly decide to let her starve one day. Sometimes, just to be snarky, I will say things like "Nope, she's not getting fed until I bring her back here tomorrow" or "You expect me to actually change a diaper? What do I look like? Her mom?!"

4. Wal-Mart sells everything, so why don't they have a magic fat melting pill? I know, I know, nothing worth it comes easily, so I just need to suck it up and get to the gym. I think JP and I are going to try the Insanity work out, by the people that make P90X. It's a 60 day plan that's supposed to be really challenging but with rocking results. I think I'll get more in the working out state of mind once I start seeing a difference. It's the first part that is always a challenge for me, when I work and work and work and don't have anything to show for it yet.

5. Today was one of those days when I went out on my lunch break, I found myself thinking of about 100 excuses to get me out of going back inside, but, alas, my grown up, responsible side knocked my irresponsible, sunshine loving side in the nose and said "Hey buddy, get back to work!" It also helps that I'm off tomorrow, and tomorrow is one of my favorite little people's 2nd birthday party! Happy Birthday Timothy!

6. I would like to point out that it's 80* here today. I sent Lily to my mom's dressed in a pink Polo dress, bloomers, and sandals. I sent a light weight denim jacket, too, just in case it rained or something crazy. At lunch when I called to check on her, my grandmother informed me that she didn't think I dressed Lily warm enough, and she is clearly cold. Lily has JP's naturally warm body temperature, so I can assure you all out there in the internet, that the LAST thing she is today is cold. Teething, tired, hungry, missing Mommy & Daddy, ready to walk...yes to all of the above. Cold? Decidedly not.

7. Now, let's discuss "jeggings". Those are, if you're not familiar, denim leggings. My first opinion on leggings is, unless you're over the age of about 6 or are at least 5 foot 7 inches tall or are in fantastic physical shape, you should not, ever, under ANY circumstances whatsoever, wear leggings UNLESS you are wearing them under a dress or something really long for warmth. My second opinion on leggings is that they should never come in jean form. So far, the only wearers of jeggings I have seen have been entirely too large to wear anything so tight, and have had on shirts that don't cover anything. If you jiggle...anywhere...LEAVE the leggings at home. Case in point: I jiggle. As a result: I don't wear leggings. This is to save the eyes of everyone around me because I know that there are some things that cannot be unseen, even when you rinse your eyes out with bleach.

8. I just realized I've mentioned different "sides" of me at least twice in this blog. I'm a Gemini and we have what is known as "duplicity". This means I can totally get away with having an inner child and an outer grown up, as well as loving clean sheets but hating doing laundry, loving spaghetti but hating tomatoes, and several other parallel things that make no sense. I can also simultaneously love my outfit but hate the way I look. Yes, I'm aware it makes no sense, but I can't help it and probably wouldn't change it if I could.

9. I just recently bought a purse, and had it monogrammed with my initials. My initials are AMT, but in monogram form it is ATM. I can't begin to tell you how many times in the last 2 weeks the fact that A. Work at a bank and B. My monogram is "ATM" have been pointed out to me. When I am famous, and make it onto a trivial pursuit question card or end up as a question on an episode of Jeopardy, this will probably be the question, so take note.

10. I need more hobbies. Like, actual, productive, rewarding hobbies. Though Farmville relaxes me before bed, it's hardly what I would call a rewarding hobby. Maybe couponing could be considered a hobby, but it's more of a job since I do it to save money for my family. I need something else. I'm planning on doing a garden, but it's going to be vegetables and fruit, again, for my family and to save money, so is that a hobby? I thought about learning to sew and make hairbows, and so far those 2 are the only 2 that I keep coming back to. Lily can always use clothes and hairbows, right? And I know some wonderful people that have either recently had, or are going to have baby girls. They could always use clothes right? Maybe one day I'll get really good and can sell them on Etsy or something. Until then, Lily and all the other little lovelies I know will get to benefit.

So, after all that, if you're still with me and your head hasn't exploded, thanks. There will be more stuff, and less randomness, tomorrow.

And now I bestow on you my coupon knowledge...

Part 2: Couponistas(os) Unite!

So now, hopefully you've all signed up for your money making surveys. Now I'll tell you about an even easier, more sure fire way to save money...couponing. I'm going to try to make this as organized as I can, so I'm going to give you my background, how I organize my coupons, how to use them, and where. At least, I think that'd be the best way to tell you about all this. I won't go into tons of detail here in this blog. Maybe I'll do another series, when the 30 day challenge is over, just on coupons. Whaddaya say, stalkers...I mean loyal readers?

I first started couponing thanks to my lovely sister in law, Joan. She started telling me how she was saving so much money at Target, my then favorite store. Lily was a few weeks old and I thought "I could use this extra money right about now, especially with baby stuff." So, one night we went to Target and picked out my supplies: a nice, sturdy pink binder with a zipper, tons of baseball card sleeves, pink and brown divider tabs, and divider pages with folder slots. I spent around $25. I could've spent less but I really wanted the pretty divider tabs and bright plastic divider folder pages. I ended up making that $25 back in my first coupon shopping trip, and I've gotten better since then, so it was definitely a great investment.

When I "built" my coupon notebook, this is how I divided it. In the front, I put colored, plastic folder style dividers. I have one for each of the major weekly ads I keep (Publix, Kroger, Walgreens, CVS, and Rite Aid). Then after that I divided the notebook into a few major categories: Health & Beauty, Cleaning/Home Needs, Food, Pet, and Baby. In each category, I put in baseball card sleeves and fixed the pink & brown tabs on them. I divided mine like this:

Health & Beauty:

Make-up (including nail polish)

Dental (toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash)

Feminine Needs

Deoderant

Soaps/Body Wash (including face soaps)

Lotion

Razors (and refills)

Pain Relievers (asprin, tylenol, tums, etc)

Allergy/Sinus

Vitamins

Misc (anything else)

Cleaning/Home Needs

Laundry (detergent, dryer sheets, dryer bars)

Bathroom cleaners

Kitchen cleaners (including dishwasher and dish detergent)

Dusting/floor care (swiffer, pledge, bleach, etc)

Light Bulbs

Batteries

Miscellaneous (PUR water filters, air filters, etc)

Writing/School supplies

Pets

Food

Treats/Supplies

Food

Breakfast

Cereal (there are SO many cereal coupons)

Beverages

Frozen

Meat

Dairy

Yogurt

Cheese

Snacks

Bread

Desserts

Baby

Diapers

Food/Formula

Miscellaneous (medicine, toys, etc)

Wow, that was a lot, huh? Having them sorted like that, at least for me, makes it much easier to find coupons when I need them. I used to carry this entire binder with me when I went shopping, and I'd flip through as I shopped. But then I realized I was buying things simply because I had coupons for it, and not because it was on an exceptionally good sale. Now I do things a little differently and my savings has increased dramatically. I look through the ads and my coupons and figure out what I'm buying from which store BEFORE I go. I pull ONLY those coupons and put them in a small zippered pouch (I got mine from Thirty-One).

Where do I find my deals? Where do I find my coupons?

First, about mid-week (like now, or tomorrow) I go to sundaycouponpreview.com and see what coupons will be in the Sunday paper. I usually buy 2 papers (from Kroger or Wal-Mart where they are $0.99 on Sundays, not $1.75), unless there are some really good coupons (like the Similac coupons from a few weeks ago...I bought 4 papers) then I buy more.

Then, on Sunday, I pull out the ads and see what is on sale where. Then I see what coupons I have for the sale items, or if I can find any. I often use www.southernsavers.com to find coupons. They have a coupon database, where you can type in what you're looking for and it will bring up every coupon that is out for it. It'll tell you where to find it, or if it's able to be printed online. This is the easiest way to find out if a coupon has a store coupon counterpart (like Target, Food Lion, etc).

So here is an example. Say I need toothpaste. This week, Publix is selling Colgate toothpaste for $1.00 per tube. I have 3 manufacturer coupons for $0.75 off one tube. I also have 3 Target coupons that I printed online for $1.00 off one tube. I can go to Publix right now and buy 3 tubes of toothpaste that would total $3.00 without coupons. I can use all 3 of the manufacturer coupons, so then the toothpaste only costs $0.75. Then I can also use all 3 of the Target coupons, so then I pay $-2.25. How do you pay $-2.25? Well, it ends up as $2.25 off of the rest of my grocery bill. That is why I love Publix. Many other stores won't do that. They'll change the coupon to make it less off rather than give you credit. Now, you can't go in and ONLY get toothpaste. You have to at least get other things to make up the difference, but think of how nice it is to pay $2.25 less for a nice piece of steak (that they don't make coupons for) or formula or diapers? Now, I could take the same sale and coupons and get 6 tubes of toothpaste for $0.75, instead of 3. This is stockpiling. If it's something like that, and you have room to store it, then it might be better to do this. However, you don't want to turn stockpiling into hoarding. Say you have 10 coupons...how long will it take you to use 10 tubes of toothpaste? Where will you put them? Toothpaste is small and stores pretty easy but you can see how this would easily get out of control with say toilet paper...or cleaning supplies...or a particular type of food (will you really eat 100 cans of green beans? So what if they were a penny each!)

I do almost all of my shopping at Publix simply because they will accept competitor coupons, and they consider nearly everyone (Walgreens, Rite Aid, CVS, Kroger, Wal-Mart...even Food Lion) a competitor. Plus, they do their own coupons in their fliers and in extra ads you can pick up in the store. Kroger is good with their cartbuster stuff-- where if you buy X number of qualifying items, you get $X off your total bill. (But, a word to the wise from someone who found out the hard way-- you only get that money off once, no matter how many qualifying items you buy. So tonight it was 10 items gets you $5 off. I bought 20 items and still only got $5 off. I should've done 2 separate transactions. But oh well, live and learn.) But, even though I do most shopping at Publix, as you just read, I do go to the other stores. Sometimes there are just better deals. Walgreens, Rite Aid, and CVS all have programs where you can purchase specified items and get register rewards, which is like money for future purchases. I have a $6 one for Walgreens right now, so I could go in there tomorrow and pick out something that would total $6.01, give them that register reward, and pay $0.01. Walgreens, Rite Aid, and CVS all take manufacturer coupons so you can see already how this could work out to your advantage.

The biggest advice I can give you is just be patient and watch for the deals. Don't worry about missing out on one or two every so often because there will be many more. Don't worry yourself sick trying to get to 5 different stores to do shopping-- you'll find that they tend to run similar specials. And, last but not least, don't just buy it because it's on sale or because you have a coupon! Buy it because you need it (or will need it in the near future), you have a coupon for it, AND it's on sale, all at the same time!

I could go into much more detail, and maybe, at some point, I will. But this is all the basic stuff to get anyone started! I hope that it helps you all, and I look forward to hearing stories about your savings. By the way, on my last trip to Publix, I paid $19.04 on a $76.32 total, thanks to coupons.